There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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