is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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