I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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