Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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