Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
