I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
