me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
