One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
