She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
