just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
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