Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
