Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
