I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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