yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
