Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
