Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
