I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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