I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
