Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
