I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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