windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
