Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
