i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
