lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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