Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
