no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
