He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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