Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
