I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
