it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
