Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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