I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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