people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
