Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
