In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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