Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
