And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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