i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
