My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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