Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
