have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
