I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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