I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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