I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
