He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm always down for nudity.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
