I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just found puke in my bra..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
