I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
