Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
