You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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