Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
