the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
