I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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