I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
