he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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