Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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