So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
