Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
