its not stalking. its research.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
